


Thank You For Everything.

by ZXA



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: M/M, bbut like not really, but im dying, fun with letters, im sorry, kanata doesnt deserve this, you kno that thing about memories flashing before your eyes when you die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 17:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14919332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZXA/pseuds/ZXA
Summary: I was told by a monster doctor that I would die by noon today.My destiny has been sealed, for a long time.But I couldn't tell it to you.It scared me too much.I'm glad I met you.





	Thank You For Everything.

“To My Dearest Kanata,

 

I am writing this letter to the one who I left behind.

I know, I will not last. It is my destiny to die. I am sorry, to thrust this upon you so suddenly. I… couldn’t bring myself to tell you.

I’m sick with an incurable ailment. I won’t last, so I am writing this letter to you.

I promise, I don’t want this either. So… I want these words to stay strong in your heart.

 

It’s a little funny, actually. I remember being envious of your charisma when we first met. You looked so beautiful.

It made me happy, that you enjoyed our battle.

 

I remember when you saved my life, and let me stay with you. I remember being incredibly thankful.

I remember the moment I realized I was in love with you. You smiled at me with warmth, I’d missed you all day.

You shined in a way I’d never seen before.

 

I remember when you confessed your love to me. You always  _ were  _ a doofus, and this was no different.

I think because of you, I’ve become an even greater me.

I remember walking at your side. In the sun, in the clouds, in a building.

In the pitter-patter of falling rain.

 

...I’m sorry.

It’s scary to know when you’re going to die.

 

You opened up to me about your insecurities.

I let you know my anxieties.

 

I hope you won’t hurt forever, Kanata.

I want you to remember me, but I don’t want my memory to make you cry.

I promise I love you.

I don’t want to leave you with nothing.

 

I need to tell you, but I’m scared.

I don’t want to leave you.

I don’t want to go away.

 

It hurts, I’m scared, but I know it’s coming.

So with that inevitable destiny of mine, I have to tell you everything I can.

 

Kanata Oozora. No amount of words could express the feelings I have for you. I want to give you the world. I want to hold you when you’re sad. I feel so much lighter when you smile.

You’re like an angel, Kanata, with the most beautiful mint-and-white feathers. You are ethereal, yet you feel like “home” whenever you speak.

I’m sure I’ve told you by now. “Home”— it’s still new to me.

 

I want to hold your hands forever. I want to be comforted by your warmth.

I want to be dedicated to you, forevermore.”

 

My tears stain the stationary, rubbing at my eyes with a feeling I never wanted to know.

I don’t want to die.

I just know it is coming.

 

My hands clasp at the unfinished, hastily written letter. A mess, knowing.

I gaze at his sleeping face with a fond glance, tearing up again, and returning to my work.

 

“I wish I could be by your side forever, and support you through all of your hardships, and share happy moments more, and more.

 

I am truly sorry that this is not our destiny.

I hope your destiny will be one that, even without me, is filled to the brim with love and joy.

Thank you for loving me, Kanata Oozora. Even when I am gone, I will continue to love you.

 

Thank you for everything,

Gaito Kurouzu.”

 

I folded the letter, slipping it into an envelope.

“To Kanata, From Gaito. 

Open at noon today.”

 

And placed it under his arm. I kissed his cheek, brushing a little hair out of his face with a smile.

I was going to cry again.

But instead I turned away, deciding to walk to my destiny.

 

It was 7am, then. 5 hours remained.

I went to the kitchen for some morning tea.

 

It was 8am by the time Kanata woke. He was very confused by the envelope, but I shook my head.

 

“You absolutely must  _ not  _ open it until noon or later, Kanata. No matter what.”

 

He laughed so innocently at it, I nearly teared up again.

 

I looked fondly at him again, smiling.

Thank you, for being  _ so soft  _ right now.

 

I decided to hold his hand for a bit after we’d both gotten ready, I, preparing myself for what would transpire in the next 4 hours.

 

It was 9am by the time we left.

(I only had three more hours in this world.)

 

We were going to have the best two hours we could. I wanted to do everything I could with him now.

 

I wasn’t long for this world…

(Imagine being told, “You’ll die by 12 on this particular day.” by a professional? Heh.)

 

I was decidedly cuddlier with him than usual, and he’d noticed by the time we went to the second destination.

 

9:30am.

“You’re awfully affectionate today, Gaito.” He looked at me— confused, maybe a little concerned.

 

“Mm, I just… Feel like it.” I smiled at him, letting out a little chuckle before leaning against him.

 

He accepted this answer alright, and continued to tug me along.

 

I hope he’ll let me do this for my remaining hours. I always wanted to be more affectionate with him.

 

I was just scared, I guess.

 

10-o’clock in the morning came as a surprise, while we held hands in a pretty little ice cream shop. We’d been here before, a long while back. I remember that day.

 

_ (“What— are you doing?” “Holding your hand. It’s more comfortable to stick close to something you’re familiar with, right? It’s fine!” “You’re embarrassing.”) _

 

“I’m glad we’ve come back here so much.” I dropped my grasp, let myself deadpan a bit, and stayed close. It  _ was _ a busy season after all. 

 

“Me too!” He beamed, and we got some of the sweetly fresh dessert, walking side by side.

 

We next headed to the card shop  _ castle _ . Passion for this game — It was something we’d had from the start.

 

_ (Abygale knew, I wondered how he was doing. We’d spent all of yesterday together.) _

 

We bought some booster packs. Destiny truly was not in my favor.

 

It was 11am when we went back to his house. I didn’t want this to be the location for my death— 

 

_ I didn’t want Kanata to watch me die. _

  
  


I accepted my destiny by leaving the house at 11:50am.

But before that, I had something I needed to do. We sat casually together on his couch. I was not very brave, not with something like this.

 

I sat in his lap and looked in his eyes, leaning in before I let our lips collide.

_ (I definitely cried, but perhaps he did not notice.) _

 

When we pulled away, I simply sat there gazing in his eyes. They were so beautiful. He was so beautiful.

 

“Kanata.” I smiled, speaking barely above a whisper, “I love you so much.”

 

“I— I love you too. Wow you’re bold today.” He said it so bluntly, I almost choked on nothing at all.

 

I laughed. “Maybe a bit.  _ Dipshit _ .”

 

“Theeeere it is!” He grinned

“Hmph.” I was glad to see him smile like that, too though. “Anyway, Kanata.”

 

It’s almost time.  _ It’s almost time. _

“I have to go somewhere now.”

 

“Oh, okay. Come home soon!”

 

I shook my head.

_ Please, I just need more time— _

I’ve just been admiring him all this time, lovingly, so I wonder if he’ll be happy with this kind of an ending.

 

It’s 11:50am. He grabs my arm, not wanting to let me leave.

“Please, Kanata.”

 

It’s 11:53am by the time he formulates a response.

“You aren’t coming back?”

 

My heart—

I’m going to break, shatter into a thousand tiny shards.

 

I wrap my arms tightly around him, not wanting to let go.

 

It’s 11:59am.

I have a minute.

“I love you.”

I cry, but I smile. I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go,  _ I don’t want to go _ .

 

You can’t change destiny like this.

Not something like this.

 

“It’s been so wonderful, Kanata. I’m sorry, and thank you. Goodbye.” I whisper.

 

It hits noon, and my heart stops beating.

 

… If I could say I have any regrets, I really wish I could’ve been with Kanata more. And I didn’t want to die in his arms.

_ (I wish, too, that Abygale would be there for some support. I am sure he is coping on his lonesome.) _

 

I want him to be happy, so, I hope the letter that has my heart and soul poured so deeply into it will reach him.

 

I will join my dear mother and Abbie in the afterlife, and watch over the loved ones who I can no longer hold.

**Author's Note:**

> this hurts but like, take it i guess  
> boy i love dying and death


End file.
